Let me tell you about my 30 dollar handcuff necklace.
It started when I was in 8th grade, when I became obsessed with the idea of getting a handcuff keychain that I saw in the mall in one of those stupid 25 cent machines. I used at very least, 3ish bucks at that machine trying to get the handcuffs, until one day that machine was filled with sticky toys instead of the guns and handcuffs. I got a lot of cool gun keychains from that one though.
So my hunts for these handcuffs began. There were some in Taco Time, I spent a few bucks there, with no luck.
One day, our video stores all closed. This was a sad day. No Great American Video. No Hollywood Video. It was depressing. And we wanted to rent a movie. So I packed in to the car with a few friends and we went to Video Stop. A little video store that smells like Pot. It was gross and I missed Hollywood Video.
Well, we walked in and we were looking around and I noticed some coin machines, one of which had handcuff in it!!!! So I pulled my friend over and made him give me all his change and spent about 5 bucks trying to get them. Stupid 50 cent machine. Taking all of my money. I ended up with some dumb "Bling" and no handcuffs. Well, for about 3 years after, we returned to that video store ALL the time, and every time I remembered, I would use my change and try for my handcuffs. Within the past 3 months, maybe a little more, we have gone at very least once a week and each time, i'd put at least 50 cents in, if not more. Sometimes it was a few dollars. And of course, I ended up with about a thousand stupid rings that fall apart all the time and some dumb necklaces with skulls on them.
I was getting close to giving up, it looked like I was never going to get them. I was pretty convinced there was only ONE that had the handcuffs in it and it was that one at the top that I could see, which would take at least 50 dollars to get to. Every time, I would put some money in, twist the knob thingy, and pray, and then get shot down. How disappointing. I'd leave a little sad, with more stupid jewelry to put in my bag for my friends daughter next time they come to town. SO MUCH STUPID JEWELRY.
And no handcuffs for Maren.
The other night, however, we went to get a movie and I remembered I had about 3 dollars in change in my pocket, so while my friends were checking out IT, I was wasting my money.
Every time I twisted it and another stupid ring came out, I was alittle more disappointed.
I wanted them so bad. 7 years. I have had this weird need for small handcuffs for about 7 years now. Weird. I'm super old.
Anyway, 7 years!
So, I'm about to give up, and then I realize I had one more quarter in my pocket. And so I felt in my other pocket and found another. So I put them in and get ready to find another stupid ring, but instead, MY HANDCUFFS FELL OUT!! I was more than overjoyed. It was probably the happiest moment of my life.
The point is, that all the time, every time I had a chance, just some change in my pocket, I would try to get what I wanted.
For so long, that's all I wanted.
And I tried. I spent so much money. That's 30 dollars I totally could have used that for something else but I didn't. I spent it on these dumb handcuffs that I wanted and couldn't seem to get. And even though I was so disappointed every time I tried and failed, ending up without my handcuffs, I still tried. Knowing that the chances were against me. But Finally it happened, and I got those stupid handcuffs and I was so happy. I described it as the happiest I've ever been, which really was obviously NOT true. But it was the greatest moment, even if it was only for a moment.
And I feel like life is like that, a dang lot of the time. We put so much of what we have in to what we want. And we end up with a lot of stupid rings. Let's say relationships, cuz that's really all I actually know about. Anyway, We put little bits and pieces of what we are in to a relationship, hoping for it to be the "one" that will be perfect and the one you have always wanted. And you have this split moment of super excited, yay this is really gonna work out feelings, and then you realize that what you really ended up with is something that you totally don't need, is a little broken, and is just dumb.
But for some reason you keep trying. Even though you know the odds are against you, you try anyway. Hoping that this time... This time it will be it. This time the handcuffs will come out (haha, that sounded extremely sexual.) But you Try. And Try. And TRYYY.
And you start to give up hope, just kinda doing it for the habit now. And then, right when you're about to give up, life gives you a little bit more of yourself to give out, and that will be it.
You'll turn the knob on the 50 cent machine called life and there it is. The exact thing you've been waiting for. And although it's really only meant to be 50 cents, it cost you 30 dollars, give or take a few.
And you love it enough for it to be worth that 30 dollars. Sometimes even a little more than that. Because for a brief moment, you know that everything you've ever wanted in life is exactly in place. it fell in to your hands and you want to cry because it's so perfect. And now you don't have to give little bits and pieces of yourself away anymore.
I know this is ridiculous to learn from these stupid handcuffs. But it felt like what I was supposed to learn.
They weren't exactly what I expected, you know. I actually wanted a key chain. I thought it was a key chain in there. That's what I expected and wanted. But it came out as a necklace. Which for a moment was disappointing. Until I realized this way, I can wear it all the time. it's not on my keys, its on me. And even though it wasn't exactly what I was expecting or wanting, it was exactly perfect for me.
So that's what I learned from my ridiculous little, long, experience with some handcuffs and a lot of quarters. Sometimes you gotta wait forever and try and try and try and hope that it happens, even when you know there's a high chance it won't. Sometimes you gotta spend way too much of yourself to get what you want. Sometimes you'll end up with a lot of stupid rings that fall apart all the freaking time before you get the handcuffs. But the handcuffs will come. And it will be more than just perfect. It will be the happiest moment of your life, if only for a fleeting second.
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