How to get through hard times.

Life is hard. Wanna know why? 

Because sometimes people leave. Sometimes, people tell you that you aren't important. Sometimes, people choose someone else over you. Sometimes, you mess things up. Sometimes, we walk around and see our biggest fears happening all around us. Sometimes, you have to leave someone. Sometimes, people we love die. Sometimes, people you love tell you that you aren't good enough. Sometimes, we are alone. 

So yeah, Life is hard. 

And sometimes, it's hard enough to make us want to go to bed without praying. Sometimes, we are angry. Because, why us? Why are we the ones who have to do this? Why, after all we've done is tried our best,  do we fail? 

Sometimes, Satan is sitting in my room. And when I sit there alone, he talks to me. He whispers to me that I'm at fault for all of it. That I will never be able to have another chance. That I'm not pretty enough for anyone else to ever notice me like he used to. That I'm not a good enough friend to hold on to anyone I want to keep. He sits there every night and repeatedly whispers these things. As I look at old pictures, he reminds me of what I lost. As I talk about old friends, he reminds me that I was the one who ruined it all. As I cry, he reminds me that I will always cry alone.

And it's on these nights that I feel like nothing is ever going to get better. Life is hard. It's my fault that it's hard. And I will never be good enough to make it better. 

But then the sun rises. And I walk to class in the morning. And I hear the birds singing. And I talk to friends. And it still hurts. And life is still hard. That doesn't go away. 

But its in those moments that I realize what I have. 

It's not a lot.

I have these friends that I know love me. And you know whats wonderful about hard times? It weeds out the friends who don't love you. You suddenly see everyone in a much different light. Because the people who love you, are always standing next to you. And even though they might not always know what to say or do, and even though they might not have any idea what exactly you are going through, they still stand right there. And the people who don't love you, they walk away. They try to still laugh and joke with you, but that's not because they love you. It's purely because that's the only part of you they like. And they don't love you enough to even try to help when they see you crying in the hall or in church. They just turn away. 

I have a family that knows they are stuck with me. We don't always get along. In fact, 90% of the time, we just argue. And there are many times that I have wished I didn't have them. But they are surprisingly extremely supportive of me. They don't talk about things with me, but every so often, they make just a small comment... And I know I have them forever. And I'm happy about it.

I have books.

I have a good job. 

I have a life. 

And I always have tomorrow. 

I don't have a lot.

I'm not rich and I'm not extremely smart or athletic and I don't have someone to love right now. 

But I have a few things. 

And its in the middle of these extremely hard times that I can see the things I do have. 

So sometimes, life is hard. 

Sometimes, it is so hard, that I don't have any idea what to do. 

Sometimes, it is so hard that I come home and lay in bed and I don't even know what to say in a prayer. 

But, I pray anyway. Because it's these moments that He shows me what I have.

And although life is hard and sometimes its hard for me to even get out of bed, He still finds a way to bless me. 

And I can't imagine life without those blessing.