How to live through 2011.

"This must be it, welcome to the New Year." 
-Motion City Soundtrack.


Hm. How to start, how to start...
You know, 2011 was... Long. But it went by too fast. 
It started off good. I remember I kept thinking as I danced on that floor surrounded by wonderful people, "This will be my best year yet. I have so much in store for me. This is it. The best year."
Quickly, I realized it would not be my best year. There was arguing. And sliding off the road in the middle of the night. And headaches. And I lost my dear friend Ryan tragically. And then the person I loved most, left. And I felt like everything was falling apart. 
I think it's actually easy to say it was my worst year, so far. 
I've only lived through 19 years and I don't remember about... 5 of them. So it's not hard to pick a best and worse, there's not a whole lot to choose from. 
And if I had to pick, I would definitely say 2011 was my worst year. 
And that's been kind of depressing to me lately. 
I wanted so bad for it to be good. 
But I realized something just a few hours ago, while I was sitting playing rockband with my friends and laughing and having a wodnerful time bringing in the new year...
Just because it was, yes, the worst year so far, doesn't mean it was actually a bad year. 
It wasn't a bad year. 
Yes, a lot of difficult things happened. 
But some beautiful things happened too. 
Just Dance 2. Butterburrs. Rainy days. Scary movies. Reading wonderful books. Harry Potter 7 Part 2. Katy Perry. Diamond Rio. Dashboard Confessional. The Scream movies. High School Musical Marathons. Dinners at Craigos. Temple trips. It's Kind of a Funny Story. Tumblr. Meeting people on tumblr. Just dance 3. Todd. Getting my handcuffs finally. Aubrie getting married. Summer nights. My first year spent completely employed. Swimming. Going to the zoo. Institute. Weird dreams. The professor. Men over the age of 36. Watching the Swan Princess. Tyler is going to Bulgaria! Seeing my cousins. Playing too much Sims. 750 words. Completely the one month challenge. Trying to be crafty. Those lights. My creative writing class. Sex Island. Vanilla Cupcakes. Deep talks with friends. Gala Darling. Radical Self Love Bootcamp. Dying my hair brown. Watching my friends be happy. Advice. Church. My self love bible. Finishing philosophy. Gossip Girl. Desperate housewives. Paranormal Activity 3. Getting my Fafsa money finally. Learning that everything is going to be okay. 


In the end, it wasn't bad. 
It was by far not the best year of my life, and doesn't top the others. 
So yes, it is the worst. 
But I loved it none the less. It was still a beautiful year that packed so much to learn in to it. So much happiness. 
A good friend said to me once "I would be the most ungrateful person in the world if I wasn't happy after everything I have." 
And she was right. 
I really would be the most ungrateful person in the world if I wasn't happy after everything I have. 
It was a beautiful year. It will be a beautiful year. And it is a beautiful life. 


"So let's give it up for the new year."