How to wait.

Close your eyes. 

Visualize the room your sitting in. See the books stacked in every corner. The empty fish tank sitting on the dresser. The Cd's scattered all around the floor. The crumpled up papers covering the carpet. Realize how completely messy this room is. Realize how much this room is just... you. 

Remember when you read all those books. The words your eyes have seen and loved. 

Remember when your friends had listened so well that they knew to buy you fish. How happy you were. 

Remember when you listened to those cd's over and over again. Memorizing every word. 

Remember the words you wrote. Remember hating them. 

Allow yourself to feel. 

Feel alone because no one is besides you. Nothing even swimming in that tank anymore.

Feel afraid because you don't know whats in store for you next. 

Feel wonderful because he loves you. 

Feel sad because you can't fix anything. 

Feel apathetic because your starting to just not care about anything now. 

Feel tired.

Hold your breath. Count to 3.

Tell yourself everything is okay. 

Smile. Not because your happy or because you know everything is fine. But because you know its whats expected of you. Because you know other people need to think your okay. 

The longer you hold the smile, the easier it is to forget that it isn't real. The more real it becomes.

Assume that's how all emotion works. The more you pretend, the more real it becomes. If your sad, you can pretend to be happy and soon enough, you will be. 

Happiness comes and goes. As does every other emotion. It's just harder to see when one emotion will go and another one come. 

Just sit and wait. When things are hard, remember the happy times. When things are happy, soak it all in for when things are hard.

Close your eyes. Shut them tight. 

Hold your breath. 

Wait.