Where Am I? ( A Poem.)

Surrounded by walls that I never built

Just sitting in the corner and watching them rise

As if they want to shut me in

As if they thought I couldn’t build it myself.

The last brick is placed

And I’m silently gasping

The air I was breathing is now suddenly lacking

And I feel no need to fight.

You whispered you love me and you took my hand.

But wait, what is happening?

Why are you crying?  Why are we here?

Why did you take my hand and lead me to the only place I can’t escape?

Where did you go and why is it dark?

There is no exit sign here to be a mark

of my only hope,

of my one way out.

Where am I?

Where am I?

I was lying in the grass while the sun was shining

And there was chalk on the sidewalk and some children laughing

And then it dissolved.

I watched it dissolve.

It was all fading and I was screaming

And now here I am.

But where am I?

Am I lying in the grass

but for some reason it’s black?

Where did it go?

And that’s when I feel those arms wrap around me

And the confusion is gone

And I’m suddenly happy.

And that’s when I realize it didn’t dissolve.

I did.

And I’m in this room now

With bricks on top of bricks on top of more bricks.

The world with grass and sun and chalk and children is still out there

But I’m not.

You whispered you love me and you took my hand

And led me to the only place that I can’t escape.

And it was beautiful while you were there.

But then you built your own room and left me here.

And now I’m pounding on the walls

Begging for them to give in

But instead pieces just slowly fall apart and on to my head

And causes me to lose my….

Oh what’s that word?

Right… memory.

And I wonder what….

And I feel like…

And sometimes I….

And they…

And then I….

I don’t know.

Somewhere in this room I dropped my words

And now I can’t pick them up.

They’re too small and too fragile

And I love them too much to make them part of this.

So I let them fall through the cracks

And instead I’ll sit in silence.

Lost in this room.

Hoping that maybe my words,

As they fall through the cracks,

Find their way to someone, to you,

In your very own room,

And then you won’t be so alone.