How to dig a hole.

When I was little, me and my brother used to go outside by these trees in the corner of our yard and dig holes. There was a lot of spiders back there. I don't know why I thought this was so fun. But it was. We would dig and dig and see how far down we could dig. One day, my brother dug a lot while I was gone and he kept bragging and bragging about  how if he stepped in it, it went up to the top of his leg. So I dug and dug and dug and I wanted so badly to beat him. I left for a little while and while I was gone, my other brother thought it would be fun to fill it back up with dirt. When I found out I was really upset about this. I had spent sooooo much time digging this hole and trying so hard to make it perfect... And then it was gone. 

I do that alot. 

I put alot of time and effort in to doing things. And sometimes, in the end, it doesn't really work out. 

Actually, I put alot of myself in things. When I love something, I put as much of me in to it as I can. All this emotion and love and passion... Me. 

Then sometimes people come along and are like "oh hey look, something to ruin." And they fill it with dirt and walk away. Assholes. 

And then I'm standing there. 

Staring at this thing that I worked on for so long and so hard. Staring at where part of me is buried.  Under all that stupid dirt that ruined everything. 

And I just stand there. SO discouraged. 

I mean, where do you start after that? Where do you start after everything you've done has been ruined? 

Especially since you know its just gonna happen again. 

It would be so much easier to just sit on the remains of what you worked on, and cry.

And trust me, I've done that. 

And yeah. Its pretty easy. You don't have to do a whole lot. Just sit there. And cry. And eat after a few days once you start getting sick. And then continue sitting there and crying. 

But really, the truth is, you have to start digging somewhere else eventually too. 

And this time it might take longer. And sometimes you might look back at where you once spent all that time and effort. And sometimes it will suck. 

But you've gotta do it. 

There's something healthy about digging holes.