How to pick up the pieces.

I read somewhere that we should write letters to ourselves in the past. 

If you could write a letter to you when you were 5, what would you say? What advice would you give? 

I don't know if I would say anything to me when I was younger. Besides "It get's harder. Just you wait and see how much worse it gets. Smile now because when your older, you won't."

Other than that, I don't know if I have anything to say to little me. 

A year ago, 18 year old me had no idea. And I wish I could write a letter to me then. I wish I could tell me everything that's about to happen. I wish could warn me. 

I read my oldest blogs just now. You know, the ones from before he left. And I felt the strangest feeling. My heart broke for me. It felt like I was reading about someone else and I just wanted to hug her and tell her what was about to happen. I needed to comfort her. And then I realized it was me. And I had this overwhelming feeling that I need to take care of myself. Because I've been broken completely. I'm still in little tiny pieces scattered on the floor. I need to pick myself up now and stop re-breaking me.

I'm so fragile. 

And I don't want to look back in year from now and feel the overwhelming feeling of "I should have been more careful." 

So this is me taking care of myself. 

No more re-breaking. 

Time to put me back together.