So this is where I face the reality that I'm not happy.
Which is pretty effing annoying.
I was doing so good. Figuring things out. But I was lonely. Then someone very wonderful came along and stopped the lonely feeling and I leaned on him. But I wasn't happy. I'm not happy. It just caused stress on both of us because I'm too heavy for him to support me leaning on him and his own life at the same time.
So this is where I face the reality that I'm not happy.
So this is where I face the reality that I'm not happy.
And this is where I figure out how to fix it.
No more pretending. I'm going to BE.
Goal time? Darn. I guess so.
I'll figure it out. And then I'll let you know what they are.
For now... I'm gonna go pray till I fall asleep. That's what I need.
I am 13 years old. I am male. I am a gamer. I have realized I'm not happy, and now I just finished crying until there are no more tears, or my body can't physically take it. I have had alot of other emotional distress in my life, and I know I feel like this usually only when I have low blood sugar, but whenever I do something, a big social event or something, I'm really happy during it, but afterwards, I'm sad. I've looked back on my life to see that right now, there are two people that I spend time with out of school........and not very often. I don't text anybody because I don't have anybodies number. I don't know what to do or how to deal with it because I never learned the social skills to deal with it because of gaming. If you are a gamer reading this, DONT FUCKING GET TO THIS POINT. EVERYBODY REACHES ROCK BOTTOM, BUT IF YOUR A GAMER AND YOU REACH IT, WHO THE FUCK DO YOU TURN TO ABOUT IT? nobody. because you have nobody. please reconsider your lives before you feel this way.
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