Monday, October 25, 2010

How to have a perfectly imperfect day.

Begin with sleeping. Don't take long to do this. Maybe 3 hours a night will do. You'll be angry and irritable and feel sick all the time, but hey, that's what college is about, isn't it?
Press the snooze button too many times. Realize that you woke up too late and jump out of bed in a hurry.
Finish the last little bit of a paper you had been writing all night. Run a brush through your hair and put on a tiny amount of make up. Run out the door. Realize its freezing.
Start your car. Start to speed. 15 over is a good amount to go with.
Get to class. Pretend to pay attention. (Realize you tend to do this a lot.)
Find out the paper you spent so long on is now not due for a few more days.
Be angry.
Go out and stare at food.
Wish you could eat without feeling guilty.
Sit on a chair and observe the people walking by. One guy smiles at everything, even when hes really annoyed with the people trying to get him to buy cupcakes. One girl talks too much but is strangely very convincing and has a calming effect on the guy who is yelling at her.
Just sit there. Wonder if anyone every observes you like you observe them.
Text your boyfriend about how angry you are.
He will try to calm you down with words like "I love you. Your the best." But, of course, the words are starting to lose their effect.
Look up. See him walking towards you. Realize that everything is okay.
Sit with him. Lay your head on his chest. Feel his heart beat. Decide that nothing else in the world sounds so wonderful.
Spend some time alone.
Love.
Rush to work. Sit at a desk for 5 hours.
"click click click click click"
Walk out of work. Feel overwhelmed. Know that there is so much to do and not enough time, not enough motivation.
See his truck.
Stand and stare at it for a little while. Instantly feel better. Walk to the door and see him sleeping. Smile. Think about how if it wasn't so cold outside, you'd let him sleep and you'd just stand there for a little while, taking it all in.
Open the door. Watch him jump at the sound. Smile.
Go out to get fries from Mcdonalds.
Think about how if he wasn't there, you wouldn't be eating tonight.
Love him for making you eat.
Smile.
Laugh.
Love.
Sit in the car. Sit in his arms. Lay with him. Hear his heart beat. Feel his heart beat.
Love every second.
Let things fall apart for a second. It makes it all feel more real. Know that life can't always be a dream. But its all the imperfect things about it that make it so worth living.
Say goodbye.
Drive home slowly. 
Think back on the day. Realize that thinking like that makes you an inattentive driver, which is bad.
Go home.
Decide to eat again.
Lay on your bed.
Just feel.
Write.
Post.
<3

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