How to love Thursdays. Simple.

So that's it, hu?

3 months without you and life moves on. Time keep passing. 

3 months ago on this day I was the most heart broken I have ever imagined I could possibly feel. We were perfect. Going to be married. So in love. And then it was simply over. 

For 3 months, I don't know how many times I have cried over you. Or how many times I have talked about you despite other people getting sick of it. 

We sat on the couch and you held my hand.
"Who's gonna be there for me now?" 

"You've got other friends."

"Not anymore." 

It was the most empty feeling. Knowing I had put so much of myself in to the relationship and walked away from so many people and then there I was needing it all back. 

How do you go to a friend that you've barely even talked to for the last 6 months and tell them that you need them more than anything? I was so sure no one was going to be there. 

So sure that I would never feel okay again.

Well here I am.

Sitting on my bed. Its Things I love Thursday. And I can't believe that 3 months later, I'm making lists every Thursday of the wonderful things in my life and smiling and feeling okay. 

So today's list is a little different. 

Today I love...

~ 3 months without Mountain Dew today. I love the way it feels to not be relying on it to keep me going through the day or to feel okay about myself. Also, no empty pointless calories. 

~ The sun was shining as I walked out of my last day of school today. First year of college: over.

~ The weather is feel good weather. Its take off your shirt and go tan weather. Well, close enough. 

~ 3 months have proved me wrong. I can't even count all the people that have been there for me through this. Who's gonna be there for me now? Some pretty effing great people. 

~ I put everything away that makes me wanna crawl in bed and cry. And I don't feel like I need to look at it again. Do you have ANY idea how amazing that is? 

~ I'm meeting new people. And loving them more than anything already. 

~ I'm cleaning up my life quite nicely. Clean room? um yeah. Weird, OCD Maren? um yeah. 

~ Yoga feels good. Palates feels good. Knowing that I can do those things feels good. Sorta kinda in shape Maren? um yeah. :) 

~ I'm figuring out once again how to not need a man to feel good about me. I'm effing wonderful. Bring it. 

Theres so much more I could write about, but its late and I have to work in the morning.
But I just want everyone to know this. 

It gets better. 

I know the way it feels to think that everything is falling apart. I know the hopeless feelings. I know the "I'll never be okay again" feelings. I know what its like to cry every night. I know what its like to pray constantly and still feel like nothing is being answered or fixed. I know. 

3 months of those feelings. Every day. 

But I'm here today to tell you It. Gets. Better. 

The feelings aren't gone. But somehow, the sun is shining a little brighter and I'm feeling a little lighter. 

Life moves on. It gets better. 

So today I love that. 

I LOVE that it gets better.