How to love writing.

Hounds

So loud,
So loud,
Slow down,
Slow hound.

They want to conquer you,
Abandon you.
I want to burden you,
Belong to you.

They want to think for you,
Pour drinks into you.
They want to look at you,
While I look everywhere for you.

I want to sever you,
Defend against you.
I want to speak for you,
As if I know what you’ll do. 

- The Antlers. 

Isn't that beautiful? I'm so desperately in love with this cd that I can hardly take it. Check it out here.

Anyway. 

I haven't been writing alot lately. There was that period of time that I wrote every day. But I didn't have a choice then. I couldn't breathe without it. 

I have mixed emotions about it. I hope none of you will ever have to experience such devastating pain like I did. No one deserves to hurt. No one should. Not like that. Not at all. But at the same time, I hope you all get to experience the feeling of needing something to live, like I did with writing. There were days where all I could think about was what I would write when I get home. There were nights that I couldn't stop crying until the words were out. If I didn't write, I didn't know what to do. And it felt so good to write. I hope all of you can feel that at some point, just for a little while. 

Life is interesting, isn't it? 

The way it all works out... 

Because here I am. Writing and smiling. 

Not writing and crying. 

I don't know when that change happened. I don't know when I switched from crying while writing every post to being okay while writing every post to smiling like I am now. 

I don't need writing to breathe anymore. 

But at the same time, I can't stop now. Not after all it did for me. I'll never be able to pay it back for how much it helped me. I'll never be able to write enough beautiful words to make up for what it did for me. 

<3