How to let go of sadness.

I sometimes just wanna throw my sadness up in the air and scream I'm done and just be happy. Shouldn't it be that easy? I like to think so. But apparently it's not. 
BUT what if it is? 
What if all it takes is throwing your sadness up in the air and screaming "Screw that!" and then simply... being happy?
What if all it takes is simply letting go of the things that make you sad? 
Or simply... stop wanting to be sad? 
Isn't that a strange concept? Actually wanting to be sad? 
I don't think we do it on purpose. I don't think we wake up and think "I'm gonna be sad today! Eff yeah!" 
I don't think it works like that. We don't plan it. 
But I think... maybe we like the attention. Or the sympathy. Or being different. Thinking that no one else in the world feels like you. Or maybe feeling like now you're part of this cool sad group. All joined together in your sadness. We like the feeling of unity. 
Or rather, maybe sadness is all we know so we get comfortable in it and don't want to give it up and try something new because what if you fail? What if you ruin it all and then suddenly, you're sad AND you know you never have a chance of being happy? 
That feels more likely to me. 
We are scared that happiness doesn't fit us. And we know sadness does. So we stay sad. 
So why not just let that fear go and just be happy? It can't be any harder than being sad. Actually, it's probably easier because when you're happy getting out of bed is easy. And going to class is easy. And laughing is easy. And making other people happy is easy. And in turn, being happy yourself is easy.
It's gotta be so much easier than sadness. So why don't we try it? 
I want to be able to say I threw my sadness up in the air and now I'm happy. But I'm scared of doing that. Hypocritcal of me, right? 
I'm scared that if I'm not sad, then I was never hurt. And it never really meant anything.
That I was just being dramatic these last few months. 
And I'm scared that if I let it go and I am happy, no one will know me anymore and then they won't love me. 
And so I don't know how to throw my sadness up in the air and scream "Screw you" to it while letting happiness overtake me. I have no idea how to do that because I'm too scared of the concept. 
But maybe I shouldn't be. 
God is on my side, isn't he? Doesn't he love me more than I could ever imagine? 
Doesn't that mean he doesn't want me to be sad? But rather, the happiest I could ever be? 
I think so. 
So maybe it is time I do it. 
Maybe it's time I let him go and let the sadness go and I learn that happiness has a place for me. 
I wish it was easier. But the best things in life are never exactly easy. 
Maybe it's time for YOU to do it as well.
I mean, you're reading this, aren't you? Some of you may be reading it purely because you love me and support me. But there are so many people that find my blog every day because they are searching google for the title. One of the reasons I put this in how to form is to make it easy for those people to find it. And if that's what got you here, it means you are reading this because you need it. 
So let go of it. Throw it up in the air and scream at it. 
And when it starts to fall back to the earth, don't catch it. 
Let it shatter. Stare at the broken pieces. And laugh. Because it's not a part of you anymore. You beat it. 


I dream about being happy all the time now. 
I wake up and feel so empty because of it. 
But do I need to feel empty? 
Or should I feel hopeful? 
I'm gonna go with hopeful. 
Because, me? Well, I'm just tired of being sad.