A few weeks ago in relief society a girl explained the feeling of waking up with a ring on her finger. She said she looked at it and instantly felt "Oh boy. Is this the right thing?" but as she looked at it more, she was so reassured it was.
One morning I woke up without a ring on my finger. Just like every other day. But for the first time in all 18 years of my life, I had the same thought process as her. "Oh boy. Is this the right thing?" But the more I looked it, the more uneasy I felt. No reassuring feeling comforted me.
Every morning I wake up without a ring on my finger. And I think of how close I was. And every morning I feel uneasy about it.
I don't know if its exactly that I expected to marry him. Well, no. I did. But I'm not sure if that's why I still feel that feeling every morning. Maybe its just a fear that there will never be a ring there. Because no one else will ever love me like he did.
But I guess there isn't a whole lot I can do about that.
I'll continue to wake up without a ring on my finger and wonder why he never put one there. Wonder if there will ever be one there.
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