How to love words.

Clarification. 

First, my lovely friend with the blog titled "This is for you," you did inspire that last little post of mine. But I didn't really realize it till later. So sorry about that. Didn't mean to steal anything. Although, I'm a little opposite of you.

Second, I feel weird my title wasn't a "how to" title. Is that strange of me? Probably. Oh well. Just the OCD part of me showing. 

Last, I may have lied once or twice in my last post. 

I don't know who this blog is for. Maybe it is for you.

Because, let's be honest here. This is for you. Whether you read it or not. I'm always going to love you. Well, part of me will at least. And this is where I do that. I go to school and work and with friends, and when I'm at those places, I don't have to love you anymore. I don't have to think about it. But when I sit down alone, I know I love you and I know that's not going to stop. So these words are for you. The beautiful words that I have loved for years, I'm putting them in to phrases and sentences and paragraphs for you. Because I cannot hold you anymore. I cannot to comfort you. I cannot be there. You won't let me. So this is all I can do. Give you words. Something I don't do for anyone else. 

But it is for me, too.

Because it's in these words that my heart beats, that I can breathe. It's in these words that I find who I am. That I can begin to heal. Words makes sense when nothing else does. When my world seems to have fallen apart, when I can't even eat because I'm so broken, when nothing works out the way its been planned, when waking up is the hardest thing for me to even imagine doing, words feel safe. I feel safe. 

So yeah, this is for you. 

But no. This isn't for you. 

This is for me.