Most days in our life are insignificant. After the day passes, chances are we will barely remember it at all. However, when someone leaves, all those days are brought to memory, and its hard to forget them again.
I'm trying real hard to be okay. And on most days I'm fine. When I'm not alone, I'm fine. Just further reminder that yes, I'm going to be fine.
But as the days pass it becomes harder and harder to think that everything's going to work out, that God has a plan. It doesn't matter how much I pray or read my scriptures, I'm still getting the feeling that this is wrong. And I still feel completely uneasy about my future. Will I ever find that "right person"? I don't know.
What if I did find that "right person" and it was him? And now that's all ruined? People keep telling me, if he was the right one then he will come back. Well what if I know hes not coming back, but what if he was the right one? Then I'll never find anyone else.
I know how ridiculous I sound.
I know how pathetic I sound as well.
But keep in mind, I have no one comforting me anymore. Friends can only do so much.
The first week of dealing with this is over. It can only get easier from here on, right?
I think in some aspects, yes. But in others, no. I don't know when I will ever stop worrying about him. And I think the longer I go without him, the worse the worrying will get.
But, I guess that will pass as well. It has to.
Well, I'm off to church. Maybe I'll feel good there. I will post again tonight, no doubt.
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