How to miss a scar.

I remember the day very vividly. 

We were out by your truck. Up on the hill leading to the performing arts center. It was still warm out. So it must have been a while ago. September probably. Right after I got my job. I was about to go to work and we were saying goodbye. We were kissing and hugging and life was perfect. Well, at one point you scratched me. Which, you know, wasn't uncommon. Except this time was like on my shoulder. Which was a little uncommon but I didn't mind. 

I got to work and I remember sitting there thinking about how bad my shoulder hurt. When I went and looked at it in the mirror, there was one single scratch mark going from a little behind my neck down to my collar bone. Really oddly placed. 

I didn't think much of it. 

But it was still there that night. 

And the next night. 

And the next. 

The longer it was there, the more I started analyzing it. It wasn't ever a cut. You hadn't scratched hard enough for that. It was always just a skinny red line. And I couldn't figure out why it wouldn't go away. 

Well, after a few months it just started showing up when I would get it wet. It wouldn't be there before a shower, but definitely there after. 

It's never left. 

There are nights when I just sit there and look at it for a few minutes. Just to remember what it was like when you were there with me.

Just now as I got out of the shower, I realized its gone.

I know it will be back. Theres been a few days where it hasn't shown up after a shower. 

And, like I always do recently, I looked for the symbolism in all of this. 

Its not the only scar you have ever left on me. 

But after a while, they will start to fade. They will start to only show up when something happens to bother them. But they will always be there for me to see. Always be there for me to sit and stare at and remember what it like when you were here with me. 

Some days, I won't see the scars at all. But they'll be back. 

Its strange how tonight I really miss that scar. It makes me feel like you're disappearing. 

But I guess its not really the scar I miss anyway.