How to be happy.

Love is a funny thing. 

This weekend I dedicated it purely to healing. But it didn't start this way. 

I woke Saturday morning to an empty house. I went to go downstairs and as I got to the stairs I just couldn't move further. All I could think about was how alone I was going to be if I went down there. Alone to sit and stare out that window like I did 3 weeks ago. I didn't want to go down there. I couldn't be alone. 

So I crawled back in to bed. I stayed there for quite a while before realizing that I couldn't waste my day like that. I wanted so bad to go take pictures, to go lay in the grass, to go be happy. But it was cold. As much as I wanted those things, they weren't going to happen. 

So I got on, wrote a blog, and sat in self pity some more. What was I going to do with the rest of my day? I started to google ideas. Like usual. 

And I came across Gala Darling's list of 100 ways you can start loving yourself right now. 

Eye-opener right there. 

I spent hours yesterday reading her stuff. 

When I got to the article about EFT, I was amazed. That's some cool shit. 

Anyway. It really got me thinking about love. Which isn't weird considering how much its on my mind lately. 

But really. The whole thing was about loving yourself. Like, so much. And it kinda got me thinking about why we love other people. Like, romantically. People often say that when they are in a relationship, they are the happiest they have ever been. But why is that? Is it because they are experiencing love? If we all loved ourselves, like so so much, then would being with someone romantically really make us any happier?

Maybe that's whats wrong with so many relationships. We don't love ourselves enough. A relationship isn't just about that romantic "oh I'm so in love and so happy because I finally have you" thing. A relationship should be two people who love themselves, loving each other. Two people agreeing to spend their lives together and to work through hard times together. Two people experiencing the world together. It's not about making the other people feel loved. Its not about making the other person happy. They should already be both of those things. Its about finding someone who loves themselves as much as you love them. Its about finding someone who loves you as much as you love you. Then living together in mutual happiness and love. Growing together in that. 

Love is a funny thing. Some people spend their whole lives looking for it. Trying to find it just so they can be happy. When really, its just in you. All the love you need is in you. All the happiness you need is made by you.

Its just hard to find it sometimes.