How to heal from past wounds.

So I'm sitting on Facebook trying to think of a topic for a blog when an old friend starts talking to me. 

We've been talking quite a bit recently, so it wasn't exactly random. But it still surprises me every time he decides to talk to me. 

See, when I was a freshman in high school I liked him for a little while. And it didn't exactly go like I planned. Meaning, he did NOT feel the same about me. Haha. And it kinda really ruined our friendship for the year a half after that. I hated seeing him around. I thought he was super annoying. I would get frustrated any time someone brought him up... You get the point. We weren't friends.

Junior year I tried out for a play shortly after my boyfriend broke up with me. Probably one of the most awful plays I have ever been in, by the way. I was a wreck, like, all the time. I was in the horribly demanding english class. I was in this awful play. And I had been used for a good 3 months prior to all of this and had recently found out.

One day, I was sitting on the stage stairs while my teacher gave notes on our recent rehearsal. As I was sitting there, this guy came up to me and sat right on the ground in front of me and just stared. We sat like that for a while before he asked me what was wrong. When I told him nothing, he laughed and called me a liar, but instead of pressing for the truth, he just walked away. 

That was the beginning of this roller coaster of a relationship that's been ongoing for the last 2 years.

He was either a good friend giving me great advice and listening to my pathetic stories, a guy who wanted to make out with me, or someone who just didn't care about me at all. On any given day, I had no idea what he was going to be. 

Then he left. And I can probably count how many times we talked since he left on... both hands.

But we've been talking lately. 

And nothing is weird. Nothing hurts. Nothing feels like... empty. like... wishful thinking. like... "if only.." 

Its just the way it is. 

So we are talking. And he happens to mention that its been almost 2 years since we last saw each other. Which means 2 years since everything happened. 2 years since I cried over him. 2 years since that play and that english class and that exboyfriend. 

2 years is a long time. 

But it passed so quick.

What happened to all of that time? What happened to my senior year of high school? What happened to my first year of college? Where did it all go? 

I think time is interesting. 

Because really, it does heal all wounds. 

2 years ago I was in this really dark place. 

Crying all the time. Hurt by my ex boyfriend that had played me and hurt by a boy that I knew only wanted to use me and then was about to leave. Confused about where I was going in life. Stressed about my classes. Unsure about the church. 

But now look at me. I talk to both those boys on a weekly basis and I absolutely love talking to them and seeing how much we have all grown and changed since then. I view both of them as good friends. I know where I wanna go in life now. I passed all of those classes, even graduated from that school. And I'm totally completely sure about the church now.

Sometimes challenges are the biggest blessing in the end. 

God finds a way to make them work out for your benefit. 

And 2 years from now, the things that hurt now will be just a memory. Because we will be too focused on current life by then. No longer upset about what we are upset about now. 

Isn't that beautiful?