How to live a year.

It's interesting, isn't it, how much changes in just a year. 

I think we are a community so hung up on numbers. The bigger the number, the bigger the amount. 

You know, like when you were a kid and someone gave you a dollar but then your sibling gives you 2 pennies in exchange for the dollar. Because 2 is bigger than 1. I don't think we ever really grow out of that mind set. We learn amounts and become smarter (hopefully) but I think with other situations, we never grow out of that. 

Time is one of those things. And it's different. Because when we think "It's only been a year since blah blah blah happened" we think about what a little amount of time that is. But if we counted by weeks and say "Oh my gosh its been 20 weeks since that happened," the amount seems huge. Its weird. 

But off of that little subtopic, I've been thinking about last year alot. 

A year ago exactly, I was dating this guy that I like to pretend I never dated. He was... Different, to say the least. It didn't last long. In about 2 weeks it will be a year since we broke up. I was upset for a little while. And then one day, I was walking through the halls of my school and I realized it didn't matter. Because just like I was about to turn that corner to go down a different hallway in the school, I was also turning a corner to go down a different hallway in my life. And just like there will be a few people turning that corner with me, but the bulk of them will be new people, my life is like that. Few people will stay, but really I'm in the middle of this whole new crowd. And as I realized this, I felt relieved. I was turning a corner and I knew there would be someone there. I knew there would always be someone new for me just around the corner. 

And I felt fine. Probably mostly because that guy was ridiculous and I was like, a thousand and one times better off without him. But also because I knew where I was going in life. 

And then this whole ridiculous year happened in between then and now. And I played too much Sims and fell in love and kissed a lot and started college and left my friends and failed a class and got a job and lost love and returned to friends and now here I sit. And I think about a year ago. It feels like it was yesterday. I was thinking about who was going to take me to prom. Concerned about how I was going to pay my school fees. And now those things don't matter. A year happened, and everything's different. 

So where am I going to be this time next year? Sitting on this bed, reading this blog? With friends, laughing? With friends, crying? In a new home? Holding hands with someone new? 

I have no idea. And frankly, that scares the crap out of me. 

But I guess, I'll find out soon enough. Just like this last year passed way too quickly, so will this next. 

Isn't time interesting?